Murderous Love
by yellowkirby
Summary: HOOT! HOOT!" screamed Zelda. "As you can see, Your Honor, she is clearly insane!" announced Marth. Stream of consiousness fic written for Smash Mansion's 10 Line fanfic contest.


This is why I never write stream of consciousness.

This was written as part of Smash Mansion's ten line fanfiction contest. The lines that I used are at the end of the fic.

* * *

"Luke, I am your father."

"No, it can't be! it's impossible!"

"Search your feelings, you know it to be true."

Jigglypuff stared at the screen. _Oh, that Death Star. So... sleek. So... round. So... sexy._

Jigglypuff bit at her non-existant fingernails as she waited for her beloved crush to come back. Why did Mark Hamil have to destroy it? Now here she was dying of a broken heart.

She walked over to the next room, not even bothering to turn of the deluxe cimema that was specially designed for the mansion. So inconsiderate.

As to be expected, there was a showing of a current fight on the large flat screen TV in the hall.

"I... ...fight... for..." gasped Ike, "my... ...FRIIIEEEENNDDSSS!"

"Step..." gasped Sonic, "...it...", gasped Sonic, "...UUUUPPPPPPPPP"

Neither fighter noticed the Bob-omb in bewteen them, and they fell off of the battlefield in a swirling torrent of pain and misery.

In his own room, Falcon watched the fight finish, and placed down his guitar, sobbing.

"I loved her, and she loved me, why, oh why, did she have to walk out on me?"

"Who are you talking to?" asked Peach. "Is it Mr. T?"

"Peach, you'll never understand," bemoaned Falcon. "The girl in this photograph is the one that's gone and left me forever."

"Hooray!"

"That's not a good thing, Peach."

"Hooray!"

"Peach, get out."

"BUT I WANNA BE THE GUY!"

"PEACH."

Peach decided she smelled pizza, and ran over to another room, leaving Falcon to pine over Samus' picture.

Fox furiously tapped on his laptop's keyboard, deleting incriminating evidence. He did not kill that man. All he wanted was to fulfill his dream. And he would.

"I'm gonna be the best disco dancer ever!" screamed Fox.

"Disco? Is that a kind of fish?" asked Peach.

"Ah!" screamed Fox, startled. "Oh, Peach... of course it is! Of course! Now please leave!"

"REDESIGN THIS!" screamed Peach, electing to destroy everything in the room.

Elsewhere in the mansion, Falco and Lucas were getting in an argument.

"First come, first serve," proclaimed Falco, stealing the antidote out of Lucas' hands.

"But you weren't even in the attack of the mutant killer leeches!" cried Lucas. "Toon Link is already dead, thanks to your selfishness!"

"And that means that I have less of you twerps to deal with!"

"But Pit's getting delirious!"

"PIT!" sobbed Pit, "PIIIIIIITTTT!"

"And I should care why?"

"Because Master Hand'll force you to spend an afternoon with Crazy again."

Falco shuddered.

_"JENGA! JENGA! JENGA!" screamed Crazy Hand._

_"We've been playing Jenga for the last 4 hours!" cried Falco. "Can't we play something else?"_

_"JENGA! JENGA!"_

_Falco snapped._

_"JENGA! JENGA! JENGA!"_

_"JENGA!"_

_It took Falco a month to regain his sanity._

Falco huddled in a corner, mumbling about how he would die.

Down the hall, Wolf was busy watching some po- _cartoons_.

"Daisy!" said Daisy, orga- _eating a bagel_.

"Mee-yow." said Wolf.

Kaepora pushed his _key _into Daisy's _locked door_.

"Mee-yow."

"I'm gonna cut you up!" screamed Wigglytuff, holding a sex t- _hammer_.

"Mee-yow."

The cow took one look and left.

"Mee-yow."

Ness was consequently scarred for life, leaving Wolf with a smile.

Across the Mansion, Link began to eat his dinner.

"Hey!" shouted Link. "These taste wet!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Link," sighed Ike, wearing an apron. "I tried so hard to keep the biscuts dry, but Pikachu played a prank on me. Oh please forgive me."

"Of course I'll forgive you," said Link, looking at Ike's beautiful blue hair. "How can I stay mad at you?"

"Why thank you," purred Ike, massaging Link's nice, muscular arms. "I'm getting tired. Should we go to bed?"

"Oh, yes." agreed Link, staring at Ike's thick, manly toenails. "Let's."

The doorbell rung.

Zelda ran to get it.

"Can I help you?"

"Oh, Shirley! At long last we meet again! Oh, my love!" cried Soda Popinski.

"Um, there isn't a Shirley here. Perhaps you have the wrong house?"

"Ah, Shirley, stop spouting nonsense. Don't you remember the sweet, sweet love we made together?"

"Sorry, sir, but you must be mistaken. Please go away."

"Shirley, you were always such a kidder! Please... Will you marry me?"

"Are you kidding? I barely know you!"

"Stop joking, Shirley. Just imagine it, Mrs. Popinski."

"Stop calling me Shirley!" cried Zelda, bludgeoning Soda Popinski with what would appear to be a rock. But it wasn't a rock. It was a bucket of water, effectively drowning him.

"It looks like he's been water-bore-dead!" said Zelda, laughing at her own pun.

"Oh boy! A Russian!" said Jigglypuff a few minutes later. "Can I have some vodka?"

"That will cost you twenty rubles!" said Zelda in a Russian accent, wearing obviously stolen clothes from the Russian man she just killed.

"Zelda," said Mario. "That's obviously you. You're not fooling anybody."

"Fine!" said Zelda, who ripped off her mustache. "I see you don't apperciate a litter humor!"

Jigglypuff watched the events unfold, then thought back to the poem she was dedicating to her love. Was it worthy of that great weapon? She hoped so.

* * *

The lines, which I used all 30 of, are:

1. '"Luke, I am your father."'  
2. "Daisy!" said Daisy.  
3. '"First come, first serve," proclaimed Falco, stealing the antidote.'  
4. 'Killer leeches'  
5. 'leaving (character) with a smile'  
6. 'The cow took one look and left.'  
7. 'deleting incriminating evidence'  
8. 'swirling torrent of pain and misery'  
9. '"I'm gonna be the best disco dancer ever!" screamed Fox'  
10. '"REDESIGN THIS!" screamed Peach, elect-'  
11. 'dying of a broken heart'  
12. '"Looks like he's been water-bore-dead!"'  
13. '"Hey!" shouted Link angrily, "These taste wet!"'  
14. 'Kaepora pushed his'  
15. 'Jigglypuff bit'  
16. '"Step..." gasped Sonic, "...it...", gasped Sonic, "...UUUUPPPPPPPPP"'  
17. '"I... ...fight... for..." gasped Ike, "my... ...FRIIIEEEENNDDSSS!"'  
18. '"PIT!" sobbed Pit, "PIIIIIIITTTT!"'  
19. '"That will cost you twenty rubles!" said (character) in a Russian accent, wearing  
obviously stolen clothes from the Russian man they just killed.'  
20. 'ripped off her moustache'  
21. '"I'm gonna cut you up!" screamed Wigglytuff, holding'  
22. 'Ike's thick, manly toenails'  
23. '"Stop calling me Shirley!"'  
24. '"HOOT! HOOT!" screamed Zelda'  
25. '"Mee-yow," said Wolf'  
26. 'mee-yow'  
27. 'but it wasn't a rock'  
28. '"BUT I WANNA BE THE GUY!"'  
29. 'placed down his guitar, sobbing'  
30. '"JENGA! JENGA! JENGA!" screamed Crazy Hand'


End file.
